15. In Search of Mood
In a story, you are endlessly describing – events, characters, mood, and more. In editing, you look for failures in description; adding a metaphorical is one solution.
If mood is important to your story, you can also edit for mood -- when your story is not creating the mood you want. This assumes you have thought about what mood your story is creating.
And, again, metaphors are one solution.
1. Samantha shivers once and then sits motionless.
2. Samantha, the daughter who's being sacrificed to my pleasure, shivers once and then sits motionless.
3. Samantha, the sacrificial daughter, shivers once and then sits motionless. ("First Encounter")
#3 is really creepy. Which was exactly what I wanted.
NEXT – Filling in Dead Spots